All Things Baby Here

There’s been a baby explosion in our circle of friends!  Most recently, our college boat driver and language helper have both had baby sons in the last week. It has been fun watching 3 ladies on campus journey through their pregnancy as well. My favourite memory by far was one Sunday morning. I was sitting beside a pregnant woman from campus in church and it happened to be a day when her baby was moving around a lot. She took my hand, and gently placed it on her tummy with a proud smile on her face.

Samuel (our GTC boat driver) with his family

I have learned to not take it seriously when people say “This is what the South Sudanese do”, because I have found that each family is different and has their own take on different customs. While I want to stray away from generalizing statements, I will try to point out what I have observed and heard from various people.

I was told that the general way to announce pregnancy is to make it public at a coffee time with other women present by saying, “I don’t drink coffee anymore”.  I recall in February, at one of these coffee times with the ladies, two of them refused coffee. There was much speculating as to whether the women were pregnant or not. Questions were met with shy smiles but eventually the truth was revealed. However, my househelp called me over the phone to tell me that she was expecting. I asked her relative if that was normal, and she said yes.  Another woman on campus publicized her pregnancy to the women at another coffee time in March through an annoucement while happily sipping coffee. I remembered that time because she was sitting right beside me and told me in her broken English. Most people didn’t believe her at first because her youngest was not close to turning two.

Ah yes, here families don’t (generally) try for the next child till the youngest has turned two and is weaned from nursing.  Another thing I have heard that you only announce pregnancy at the 3-4 month mark, but my househelp announced it at the 2^nd month of pregnancy and again after talking with another woman, it is really up to each family as to when they want it revealed.

I have also found many similarities between Indian and Southern Sudanese culture in terms of pre-natal and post-partum traditions. One of the reasons you do not announce that you are pregnant till after the first trimester is the belief that you don’t want the evil eye upon you and the baby.  I have also heard that women don’t really leave the house in the first trimester for the same reason.  Women on GTC campus though don’t hold to those beliefs and admit that it’s “old wives tales”. Another point is that you don’t wear tight fitting clothes to reveal the bump and one tries to hide it as much as possible. If it's your firstborn child, you move into your mothers home for the first 6 months of the babies life so that the family can care for you, then the wife and baby move back in with the husband. 

There is a ceremony called the "bokhoor" which is so unique to the Southern Sudanese and I believe, to other Arab countries that I have to describe it in detail. "Bokhoor" means incense and generally is used to perfume the house and for special occasions like weddings (think of it as aromatherapy). The women of the South Sudanese community gather together prior to the birth of the baby to prepare it and then use it postpartum to perfume the house. It is essentially made from the wood chips of the sandalwood tree. The sandalwood chips are exported from India!! Usually the family of the pregnant woman organizes it, but since most of these women are away from family, sometimes the woman herself has to organize it. There was an exception to one of the women, who was expecting her first and she also happens to live with her family on campus. Hence her bokhoor ceremony was a bigger deal.  

Wood chips are sorted, you only want the best pieces

Wash the sandalwood with water

Perfumes used to soak in the sandalwood

Pound the gum to be added to sandalwood

Coat the wood with sugar

Put the wood chips in a container

Add perfumes to the wood chips

Shake it up and let it sit for some days

Another type of perfume made with scales of a crocodile!

Another type of incense with sandalwood powder

There was much dancing...

and eating...(that plate was just for me :P)

and more dancing

As you can tell, I had a blast at the second bokhoor ceremony which had great music, food and dancing involved. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to dance, so I danced my heart away, even teaching some of the ladies some Bollywood moves!

The ladies all delivered their babies during the months of August and September, not in the order that was expected!

In terms of post-partum, mama and baby do not leave the house till after 2 months (if it is your first child) or 1 month if it is your subsequent child. By leaving the house here, means the compound of GTC. One only eats warming foods, i.e lots of soup and stews. Your family and community also take over all the household chores during your months of healing. This is also very similar to Indian tradition. Again, there are exceptions to the rule, and I have seen the women making meals and coffee at the 2 week post-partum mark on campus. In terms of naming the child, the baby is only officially named after the 1 week mark or when they are 1 month old.

We also got to celebrate a baby dedication of one of the families on campus at our church, which was very special! The mother and baby are now out of the house!

Happy parents and baby Claire at the local church beside GTC

This is just a very small glimpse into all things baby here in Melut, South Sudan!

***Addendum added on November 10th 2013***

A Heska was conceived here in Melut, South Sudan. I would rather my first trimester here be a distant memory but this pregnancy has been exactly like the previous one. Nausea and the need to sleep every moment of the day but thankfully no vomiting. I am 20 weeks along today and feel like my normal self. I have enjoyed belly rubs from our S. Sudanese friends here and getting lectured about the proper way to sit as a pregnant woman. It's different this time around though as it will be 13 weeks of no medical check up for this child (in Canada I had a check up every 4 weeks) and a step of faith living in an area with no access to medical care. Trusting in the good Lord has taken on a whole new meaning.